well you can't waste a boner
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
