I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
