maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
