I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
