I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
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Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
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Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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