the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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