I must be too annoying 4 u.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize