If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
