am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
