Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
