I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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