I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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