Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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