I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
