i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
