very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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