It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
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Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize