wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
