you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
