I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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