I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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