I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
