no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize