I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
time to smoke my breakfast
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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