Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
