She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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