can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
