If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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