hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
