we have officially lost it.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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