awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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