wrigley field is MILF paradise
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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