Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
