Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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