Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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