cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where does the pee come out of this thing
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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