just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
