Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize