ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
