Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize