we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
