quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
