dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
