i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize