we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
