Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
