You're completely useless in the revolution.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
