Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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