was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
