I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
