I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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