therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize