I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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