Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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