just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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