did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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