Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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