I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
