what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
