if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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