Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
